Melbourne & Geelong Wedding & Portrait Photographer Robb Duncan » Personal

Darkness and Light

Robb Duncan — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 06:26:17 +0000

The time comes when you finally feel like you can write about it. Like you HAVE to write about it.

Its too quiet, I have been too quiet…

People notice…

Questions…

But where is the start? The Beginning? That pivotal moment? How did this happen??

Well it wasnt like that, not really. With depression it never is… is it? Not for me at least…

Someone said its the price you pay for your art… some days I think they might be onto something… other days I think they are full of shit…

Depression has always been there, in the background, just a few steps behind me… Every now and then I get a tap on the shoulder… Then weeks roll by almost without change, except bit by bit the world gets smaller, darker. Even the most basic of tasks becomes more burdensome, concentration slips, the world now slightly out of focus.

I know this, I have been here before. I know what to do, I know the path to tread. Slowly but surely I always push my way back.

Except this time was different… deeper and darker… I was in freefall and hadnt even noticed… the whole world was like a slow motion train wreck and I was just sitting there watching… unable to lift a finger… Even now as I look back its almost terrifying…

And then it got worse… much worse, things would never be the same.

Its not even 6am when the phone rings… “Hey its Dee” she says with tears in her voice, “somethings happened to mum, she is in hospital, its not good, you better get over here…”
I’m shocked… lost for words… the conversation is a blur…
Silence, sitting on the side of the bed… bugger, my passport has expired… the whole world is spinning… so much to organise…
2 hours later the phone rings again… its Dad… “its not good at all mate, get over here as quick as you can….”

Its amazing what you can get done when you have to, a replacement passport in 3 hours… and a one way ticket to New Zealand… But it was late afternoon before I kissed Narelle and the kids goodbye and boarded the plane…

Walking to my plane… I like flying, I hated this.

A four hour flight and another 2 hours getting to the Hospital (thanks Jase & Amy)… all the while praying I am not too late…

Tears fill my eyes as I type this, just rolling down my cheeks… remembering that long night… but at least I got to say goodbye, we all did.

The following day mum slipped away quietly…

I try not to think about the next week to much… the grief of others, so much harder to bare than my own it seemed… Tears, flowers, warm spring sunshine, condolences, helplessness, sleepless nights, decisions, silence, heavy wooden casket…

I cant imagine what Dad was going through… surrounded by family and at the same time so alone…

A thousand words I couldn’t write.

It was great to see everyone again, it had been a few years… but all too soon I was saying goodbye at Wellington Airport, as lightning flashed and the rain fell in torrents.

The flight was uneventful, the welcome at Tullamarine was everything I had imagined. I was home!

The next few weeks were rough to say the least… I couldnt sleep… it was hell. I needed help… so I went and got it.

I still miss her so much… and its at the strangest times. Like during a discussion with the kids about how many of us as 4-5years olds had cut our own hair with scissors…I think to myself, “I will ask mum when I cut my hair, I think I was 5″… “Oh… wait… I cant…”

I see her in the expressions on the kids faces… little glimpses… and I like that. She would too.

Yes, it was hard to write this, its taken weeks… I dont even know if this is exactly what I wanted to say… But at least you know where I have been and why. I have to thank many people for their kindness and understanding over the past few months, especially since this has been so difficult to deal with and talk about..

Am I back? For the most part I would say yes… but it is a long road.

What I can say is that its a hell of a lot easier to be around a hundred or more smiling happy people, than it is sitting here alone in my office!!

Photographs Captured by iPhone and Canon 5DII

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I have a brain – 2 years on.

Robb Duncan — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 09:39:55 +0000

Two years ago today I published a follow up blog post to a series dealing with my journey and our family history of Brain Aneurysms.

The following is an excerpt from that post, and seriously, I really do have a brain and I still have the images to prove it.

An image of my Glorious Pumpkin.

The dust had settled on July and things were beginning to return to normal, August was looking good as I booked 3 new wedding dates for 2009. A happy smile on my face, driving along a suburban street after dropping our 3 year old Ben at his play group, I pulled into the parking lot of our Family Doctor. No appointment, but I had a good feeling, the waiting room 1/4 full as I took a seat. I think ipods were invented for times like these, and 4 songs later, I was sitting across from the Doctor, as he called the local Medical Imaging centre to see if they could fit me in for a CT scan.

Unbelievable to me, but there I was less than 35mins later stretched out on the bed of the Scanner as the iodine contrast, that had just been administered, rapidly spread to every part of my body. It started with a weird metallic/chemical taste in my mouth, a little unpleasant, but that was soon overshadowed by the intense heat that seemed to radiate from every cell in my body. Its a feeling that was once described to me by a surfer friend who had had one too many close encounters with the local reef. It was hotter than taking a leak in your wetsuit when the water temp was 10 degrees…

I don’t surf, but I now know the feeling, extremely warm and wholly uncomfortable. Almost as quickly… the feeling was over, and so was the scan… “Results tomorrow” said the front desk and “please wait for about 10 minutes to make sure you don’t have an adverse reaction to the dye.” Or words to that effect.

As I unlocked my car I couldn’t believe that the whole process, including the Doctors referral, had taken less than 2 hours… A CT scan and home in time for lunch, God Bless Australia and our Medicare System, we do indeed live in the “Lucky Country” (apologies to Donald Horne.).

It’s still weird to have images of the inside of my head that I can look at when ever I like… and as a Photographer, I am still amazed at the whole process.

So there you have it and like I always say, please feel free to comment… Especially those of you viewing this via Facebook !!!

And for the Camera/foto geeks: -

Photographs captured by :- Canon 20D & 50mm f/1.4 – ISO 800 – 1/60 second @ f/3.5

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Little Red Wagon

Robb Duncan — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 12:15:30 +0000

Angus got a little red wagon for his birthday, which he thinks is just awesome. I couldn’t agree more!!

We decided to load the wagon with a couple of “friends” (Ali the Alligator and Horace the Horse) and then Angus and I took the loaded wagon to school to pick up his older brother and of course I had a camera with me.

On the move

Checking on the cargo

It's tough work being an Alligator.

So there you have it and like I always say, please feel free to comment… Especially those of you viewing this via Facebook !!!

And for the Camera/foto geeks: -

Image captured by Canon 5DII & 50mm/1.2 L

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Happy 5th anniversary honey !!!

Robb Duncan — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 13:08:56 +0000

I would just like to wish my beautiful, loving, supportive and courageous wife a VERY happy 5th Anniversary for today!!

I love you.

Thanks so much for putting up with my “Creative Genius”, I couldn’t do what I do without you.

My Darling Wife.

Its been a big month so far already, whats next?!!?

And like I always say, please feel free to comment… Especially those of you dropping in via Facebook!!

And for the Camera/foto geeks: -

Images captured by Canon 5DII & 50mm/1.2L – ISO 1600 1/200sec @ f/2.2

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Meteor over Melbourne

Robb Duncan — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 06:25:55 +0000

So, I have been too busy for the past 2 weeks to post anything…

Then last night I finished up another client meeting and as I was driving home… I saw this…

What is it..??

I decided to pull over and take a closer look.

Of course I had a camera with me (I always do), but I only had a 135mm lens, great for brides, not the best for photographing strange phenomenon in the sky. But upon closer inspection I could clearly make it out…

This is a close-up cropped view from first image

It was a meteor, how cool is that?!!

I clicked off a dozen frames, then switched to HD video, which sounds cool, but in reality the meteor was so far away, that in 25seconds of footage, it hardly appears to move at all.

As it got closer to the horizon, and I suspect a lot lower in the atmosphere, a dust trail started to develop. As you can see from the next 2 images, this was backlit by the sun which had already set.

The dust trail

Close-up crop showing the dust trail in better detail

And there you have it, just another reason why I always carry a camera!

And for the Camera/foto geeks: -

Images captured by Canon 5DII & 135mm/2.0L
- ISO 800 – f/2.0 – 1/2500th sec
- ISO 800 – f/5.0 – 1/125th sec

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Jogging Photography XIV

Robb Duncan — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 12:56:35 +0000

Just a little something I wanted to share with you guys,

Flowers under the bridge

Image captured by Canon 5D II & 24L II – ISO 100 – 1/800 second @ f/1.4

And yeah, I still love my 24mm lens… :)

So there you have it and like I always say, please feel free to comment… Especially those of you viewing this via Facebook !!!

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Tying the Knot

Robb Duncan — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 12:35:41 +0000

I thought of a few different titles for this post… including “Loose ends” and “A Frayed Knot”… but you would expect that from me right?

Tying the Knot

Image captured by Canon 5D II & 135L – ISO 1600 – 1/800 second @ f/2.0

So there you have it and like I always say, please feel free to comment… Especially those of you viewing this via Facebook !!!

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First day of School

Robb Duncan — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 04:47:12 +0000

This is Bens first day of school. I know I should have blogged these over a week ago, but good things take time.

Ready to go

Not as nervous as expected !!

Of he goes, cute little bugger!!

Our little Benno is growing up !!

At school

The house is so quite without him !!

Captured by Canon 5DII & 24-105mm/4.0L – Various settings

So there you have it and like I always say, please feel free to comment… Especially those of you viewing this via Facebook !!!

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First day of Kinder

Robb Duncan — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 04:47:07 +0000

Our little man Angus on his first day of Kinder…

Ready to go

Not quite as relaxed as he could be!!

It is so quiet around here… for those few hours a day !!

Captured by Canon 5DII & 24-105mm/4.0L – Various settings

So there you have it and like I always say, please feel free to comment… Especially those of you viewing this via Facebook !!!

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One Year On…

Robb Duncan — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 05:38:07 +0000

Just a little post to remember the events of one year ago.

God bless you all.

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Jogging Photography XIII

Robb Duncan — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 09:06:16 +0000

Every now and then while I am out trying to get some exercise I see something completely ordinary…

Waratah Fence Picket

I like ordinary.

Image captured by Canon 5D II & 24L II – ISO 100 – 1/500 second @ f/2.0

And yeah, I just love my 24mm lens… :)

So there you have it, feel free to comment.

8/200

Storm Clouds – Image of the Week (26)

Robb Duncan — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 05:40:03 +0000

Yes, I know… I have already posted once today, but one of my New Years resolutions is to blog 200 times this year… so here goes number 2!

After a scorching hot day to end 2009, we joined some dear friends for a quite celebration, to say goodbye to 2009 and more importantly to welcome in 2010!! Its true, I almost always have a camera with me, and New Years Eve parties are no exception.

The day was drawing to a close, the sky darkened early, you could feel the storm building, you could even smell the rain coming, with lightning and thunder as the storm front stretched from Horizon to Horizon. And the clouds were unreal with a the heavy blue colour. And so in typical Robb Style, this is not your typical New Years image.

Storm Clouds on New Years Eve

Captured by Canon 5DII & Canon 24mm/1.4 IIL – ISO 800 – 1/125 second @ f/7.1

So there you have it and like I always say, please feel free to comment… Especially those of you viewing this via Facebook !!!

The aim of Image of the week is to show you a little more of what I love to shoot, and most times its something a little different, sometimes its not!!

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It’s going to be a BOY !!

Robb Duncan — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 09:52:37 +0000

Regular readers will already know that my wonderful wife is Pregnant with Baby number 6, and due in April. Well, we are at the half way mark now and have now had our Ultrasound.

Happy to report that all is well, baby is perfect, and as you might have already guessed from the title, we are going to have a BOY !!

For those who are in the know, that makes boy number 5.

Awesome!!

Here is an image from the ultrasound.

Its a boy !!

So there you have it and like I always say, please feel free to comment… Especially those of you viewing this via Facebook.

Jogging Photography VII

Robb Duncan — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 20:46:36 +0000

It is the beginning of the “Wedding Season” so to speak and I am happy to report I am fighting fit and ready for anything!!

Here is a late afternoon Jogging Photography image that I wanted to share.

Image captured by Canon 5D & 50mm/1.4 – ISO 1600 – 1/80second @ f/2.2

So there you have it, feel free to comment.

Happy Fathers Day

Robb Duncan — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 10:22:05 +0000

Just a quick post to say Happy Fathers Day to all the Dad’s out there !!

& HAPPY FATHERS DAY DAD.

Love ya.

Jogging Photography VI

Robb Duncan — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 22:42:39 +0000

As a Wedding and Portrait photographer I actually spend more time at my desk or behind the wheel of my car than I do behind a camera. But as long as the music is good, I don’t have a problem with that. Now here is the catch, my wife is a good cook, and well, I do like my food…

You can see where this is heading right??

The end result is… well.. I am “spreading a little, so to speak and I am not overly impressed with the situation.

And while I will admit that I have not been jogging EVERY morning, I am still putting in an effort and I think I can almost see a Gym membership with my name on it…

Here is another early morning Jogging Photography image.

Image captured by Canon 30D & Sigma 30mm/1.4 – ISO 400 – 1/3200second @ f/1.4

So there you have it, feel free to comment.

More Melbourne Zoo

Robb Duncan — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 12:35:46 +0000

I should have known that posting only one image from the Zoo yesterday would not have been enough, I just should have known !!

A request for Cats, not a problem Melanie, here they are.

Snow Leopard

The King

Yawn

Images captured by :- Canon 30D & Sigma 100-300 f/4.

And just a quick note – You know, some people actually think Zoo’s are bad or sad… but I believe their Education, Conservation and Research value is beyond measure.

So there you have it and like I always say, please feel free to comment… Especially those of you viewing this via Facebook.

Melbourne Zoo

Robb Duncan — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:24:35 +0000

You know there are many things I love about my work, and scouting photo locations is near the top of the list.

Even if I have shot a number of weddings in a location or venue before, I always like to check close to the wedding date to see if anything has changed. And of course I always have a camera handy.

When a client chooses a location or venue thats a little different, like Rachelle and John who chose the Japanese Gardens at the Melbourne Zoo, I make a special trip a few months before the wedding date. The Melbourne Zoo is a “tough” location, and its fair to say I might have to go back to a couple of times, just to make sure I didn’t miss anything !!

The colour of this guy just blew me away.

Image captured by :- Canon 5D & 70-200/2.8 @ 155mm – ISO 800 – 1/125 second @ f/4.0

And just a quick note – You know, some people actually think Zoo’s are bad or sad… but I believe their Education, Conservation and Research value is beyond measure.

So there you have it and like I always say, please feel free to comment… Especially those of you viewing this via Facebook.

Beside the Lerderderg

Robb Duncan — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 21:39:33 +0000

I love to photograph almost anything… I guess you have noticed that by now… This is my life.

Beside the Lerderderg

Landscape photography is something I find relaxing, a stress relief as well as a creative outlet and you don’t ever have to travel far to find something.

I tell you what, the web version of the above image just doesn’t do it justice.

Image captured by :- Fuji S7000 & Hoya R72 Filter - ISO 200 – 1.5 second @ f/8.0

So there you have it and like I always say, please feel free to comment… Especially those of you viewing this via Facebook.

Jogging Photography V

Robb Duncan — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 05:17:10 +0000

A week or so ago, you might remember I jogged along the Altona beach front… Well, I went back for another go, there is no such thing as too much of a good thing is there…??

So here is another one from Altona near sunset.

Image captured by Canon 30D & EF24mm II f/1.4 – ISO 200 – 1/500second @ f/5.0

So there you have it, feel free to comment.

Big Rock

Robb Duncan — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 11:25:52 +0000

Just a couple of landscape shots from our recent trip to Big Rock in the You Yangs.
It was a beautiful clear winters afternoon, there was a little texture in the clouds, and the light was gorgeous, perfect for photography.

Moss and Big Rock

Image captured by Canon 5DII & EF17-40mm f/4 @ 35mm – ISO 200 – 1/500second @ f/5.6

Little Rock

Image captured by Canon 5DII & EF17-40mm f/4 @ 29mm – ISO 400 – 1/125second @ f/16

Another awesome day out with the kids.

Feel free to comment.